Accountability...

                  "The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing."
                                                            -Walt Disney-

I have never been so big in my life. This picture was taken about 15 lbs ago...

   So why am I starting this blog?  Why would I want to broadcast my weight on the Internet? Accountability. If I just say to myself, "Penny, you need to get healthy and lose weight" what good does that do? I already know this fact and obviously, I have not taken it much to heart. But if I put it out there for everyone to see, I will surely look like a jackass if I don't follow through...
 
    I have been through this before. I have been overweight my entire adult life and also most of my childhood. I have lost weight and then put it back on (plus a few pounds) numerous times. Why keep banging my head against that proverbial brick wall? Because I never really hold myself accountable. Sure, I start off with gusto. But did I really share my plans with anyone? Of course not! Why do that? If I did, I would have to follow through with it. I could not give up. So here I am, putting it all out there for all to see.

   My Goals
     First and most importantly, I am doing this to be healthier. I am obese. There. I said it. I acknowledged the gigantic elephant that has been standing in the center of the room for so long (and I don't mean myself). My weight has been increasing nonstop for years. Currently, at a doctor visit, I was shocked, saddened, disgusted, disappointed and then some, to discover that my weight has ballooned to an extremely dangerous 268 lbs. That should be 2 people, not one. I have never weighed so much in my life! I have so far been lucky enough to not experience any of the health problems that plague people of my size. So far doesn't last forever.

  I have 2 little boys to look after. I want to be around for every bit of their lives. I want to be able to play with them and not just watch. Also, they won't stay little forever and they eventually will go to school. I don't want them to get teased for having a fat mom. I would also like to have one more baby, and at this weight I know it wouldn't be a healthy pregnancy. I was blessed that my last two were so perfectly normal and I didn't have any troubles.
 
   I want to look good and feel good about myself. Seriously, have you ever gone into the "Plus Size" department of a store? There is not much to look at. I have the hardest time finding anything that I really like. And pants? Oh don't get me started! I would love to be able to shop in the regular ladies department. I want to feel good when I go out. I have never admitted it, but I am embarrassed to go to the mall. Or any other "nice" store for that matter. I would also love to own a bathing suit that doesn't have a skirt attached to it.

   The Game Plan
   I am a terribly inactive person. I am lazy. I don't like exercise. I don't eat well. All of that is going to change.

   Goodbye Coca-Cola
   Anyone that really knows me knows that this will be a big deal. I am addicted to the stuff and I know it is not good for me. And just like a person giving up alcohol or cigarettes, I am just going to have to give it up entirely. There is no in between. No more soda for me.
    Junk food has got to be slowed to a minimum. I know that I cannot say that I will give up chocolate or pizza or french fries entirely. There is going to be some extreme moderation involved, though. I have never been a fan of fruits and veggies. I will have to learn to be a bit more willing to try them.I have always liked the ease of prepared and take out foods and they have proven to be a dangerous enemy! I am going to learn to plan what I eat and not just wing it. Sensibility will have to take a front seat and junk cravings will be locked in the trunk!
   I am a very emotional eater. I eat when I'm bored. Or mad. Sad, glad,excited as well. Food should have never become a crutch but unfortunately I have made it that way. I am going to learn to eat to live, not live to eat.
   The treadmill is not a clothes rack
   I hate exercise. I can not stomach the idea of myself hopping around to choreographed moves with a bunch of overenthusiastic Barbie wannabes. I see the gym as a place for already fit people to go and show off their overly tanned bodies. But walking, now that is something that God designed. We all learn how to do it when we are still in diapers. It is natural and it is good exercise. And I just so happen to own a treadmill. Just don't expect me to run yet.

   So there you have it. I am making a commitment. I have over 100 lbs to lose. That is so staggering to say! I know I can do it though. And I know my good friends and family will be around to help me. I am going to use this blog to help me track what I eat, when I exercise, and how much progress I make. Sounds exciting, huh?